LIBRARIAN
WE LOVE THE ARSCC LIBRARIAN!
29 December 1997:
PRESENT FOR WILLIAM BARWELL
In the third of her "presents" series, The Librarian gets a little strict with a.r.s. regular William Barwell when he lips off and hands her a LIMP OPINION about some of the HARD FACTS she had posted from the Library of Congress. Her present for Barwell is a comprehension test for dummies. There is no record of him showing up to respond.
From: The_Librarian<Anonymous@Replay.com> Subject: PRESENT FOR WILLIAM BARWELL Date: 1997/12/29 Message-ID: <199712290541.GAA23572@basement.replay.com> Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology Why, William Barwell, you little imp Pope, you. Sometimes you're so cute and funny, but *sometimes* you can be *so* naughty. I had a good mind to give you just coal and switches, but--<heaving bosom> well, you *know* what the idea of *switches* does to me. And just what did you do that was so naughty? Well, in my message called "THE LIBRARIAN SAYS *NOT* RECOMMENDED READING!" I had posted the following HARD FACTS about the new version of "New Slant on Life": TITL: A New slant on life / L. Ron Hubbard. IMPR: Los Angeles : Bridge Publications, c1988. PHYS: 206 p. CLNA: Norman F. Starkey as executor of the Estate of L. Ron Hubbard d.b.a. L. Ron Hubbard Library, Los Angeles DCRE: 1988 DPUB: 8Oct88 DREG: 28Nov88 APAU: some text, compilation, paintings used for dustcover art: Church of Scientology International PREV: Prev. reg. 1970, A145211. LINM: NM: "some text, compilation, paintings used for cover art." ECIF: 1/B/L XREF: cL. Ron Hubbard Estate of. SEE L. Ron Hubbard Library, Los Angeles. In replying to my message, you DELETED the HARD FACTS above, and left in these soft, quiet questions I had asked: >>Wonder who wrote the "NM" (New Material) that is described as >>"some text"? Wonder how *much* new text? Wonder why those >>authors aren't given credit anywhere in or on the book? Wonder, >>wonder, wonder. Instead of answering me with HARD FACTS, you tried to hand me the following LIMP OPINIONS: >New material it ain't. ...It's Hubbard all right. There are no >other authors... . Now, William, it is *very* bad form, and a *very* bad idea to be condescending to the Librarian, to SNIP her facts, and then to pooh-pooh them when you haven't done your homework. Cute or not, you were *very* naughty. So! The present I have for *you* is a little Library Reading Quiz on "New Slant on Life." Ready? Here's the quiz: QUESTION 1: FIND ALL THE SUBLTLE CHANGES IN THE TWO PARAGRAPHS BELOW, AND DESCRIBE THEM FULLY. VERSION A (regarding a child): "You try to give him his freedom. He's so suspicious of you he will have a terrible time trying to adjust. The transition period will be difficult. But, at the end of it, you'll have a well ordered, sociable child, thoughtful of you and, very important to you, a child who loves you." VERSION B (regarding a child): "You try to give him his freedom. He's so suspicious of you he will have a terrible time trying to adjust. The transition period will be terrible. But, at the end of it, you'll have a well-ordered, well-trained, social child, thoughtful of you and, very important to you, a child who loves you." QUESTION 2: WHICH OF THE ABOVE EXCERPTS FROM "NEW SLANT ON LIFE" WAS WRITTEN BY L. RON HUBBARD, AND WHICH WAS WRITTEN BY UNKNOWN AUTHORS WORKING FOR CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY INTERNATIONAL? QUESTION 3: WHICH PARAGRAPH COMES FROM WHICH EDITION OF THE BOOK? (HINT: One comes from the original 1965 edition, which says "by L. Ron Hubbard" on the cover, and the other comes from from the 1997 paperback edition, which does not say *by*, but has the trademark "L. Ron Hubbard" on the cover.) QUESTION 4: ARE THERE OTHER SUBTLE LITTLE CHANGES LIKE THAT THROUGHOUT THE BOOK, AND IN MANY OTHER WORKS WITH L. RON HUBBARD'S NAME ON THEM, BUT ACTUALLY REGISTERED BY "CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY, EMPLOYER FOR HIRE" AS THE AUTHOR? (Hint: The answer is "Yes.") END OF QUIZ! Now, William, I *really* wanted to give you a much nicer present, but you *mustn't* be condescending toward the Librarian. So please be a sweetie and post your answers. Or, if you can't answer the questions on the quiz, please write 500 times, "I will always check my facts before challenging the Librarian, because she *loves* HARD FACTS, and *hates* LIMP OPINIONS," and post it to the newsgroup. And then I'll have a *special* present for you! 'Cause even when you are naughty, I just *can't* stay mad at you. You little imp Pope, you! --<The ARSCC Librarian> P.S.-Psst! Just between you and me, I don't *really* care whether you answer the quiz or not. I figure neither of *us* can lose on this either way, but a certain little raw-tailed poodle and the people holding his leash are gonna' be biting each others' legs to find out that somebody actually did a *side-by-side* comparison to *every word* in those different editions! Wonder how many of these "new" editions have been sold through Barnes & Noble, Waldenbooks, B. Dalton, and others? Wonder how many copies Bridge has sold? Wonder, wonder, wonder. Kisses and hugs! ----------------------------------------------------------------- *The ARSCC, like its sensuously meticulous Librarian, does not exist. |